And then there was Poo!

Welcome back for the very first time today! Yes, I have been known to listen to the Twelfth Man. Its a challenge to find new and exciting ways to start my blog, finish my blog and put something interesting in between. Lucky I have DW and the kids.

*** WARNING ***
The following contains graphic description that may offend some readers. Please look away or at least cover your eyes and look through a gap in your fingers. I read all my blogs that way, which is also why I type so slowly.

All children go through the stages of toilet training which vary in degrees of horror. For Princess, the most scary time we had was when she used to relax a little too much in the bath. For Little Man, that has not been a problem and currently all indications are that it will not be the same with him. However, he had his own Poo Incident in January.

It was a very hot day, too hot to wear anything but a nappy. Obviously I'm talking about Little Man now, not the rest of us -we were in suits of armour. Little Man was having some trouble getting to sleep that steamy morning. He had been up for a while but was grumpy so we put him back to bed for his morning sleep. He fussed for quite a while and we checked on him a few times but eventually he went quiet.

When he goes quiet, it means one of two things. The first and most desirable is that he has gone to sleep. The second and slightly less desirable is that he has found something to amuse himself. The latter is marked usually by giggling and singing and the rattling of the little bars on his tiny baby jail. However, on this particular day, he was quiet so we assumed he was asleep, and when we found him he was. The only problem was how he had amused himself before he fell asleep.

We use disposable nappies which have little grip tabs. These are very effective and are easy for an adult to apply and remove but far more difficult for little finger to undo. Not impossible though. At some point most kids probably figure out how to undo these tabs and by this stage they are also starting to become aware of the purpose of said nappy. However, the first time those little fingers find their way inside a nappy, either by undoing or just wiggling determinedly, hilarity ensues. Whacky fun for all. Or not.

DW found Little Man in his..."state of self decoration" when she noticed an unpleasant smell outside his room. Now when I say unpleasant, I mean horrific. And when I say noticed, I mean it hit like a hammer to the face. From my vantage point, I saw her go through a doorway and come staggering back, her nose bleeding and offended as she fell to her knees and emptied her stomach. That may be a slight exaggeration.

Anyway, we rushed in to see what terrible thing had befallen our little boy, only to find him sleeping, well, like a baby. Happy as a pig in... He was covered from head to foot. His bed was equally defiled. Apparently there was sufficent left for hurling around the room. He seemed to have concentrated on hitting Princess' bed. It was probably lucky she wasn't in it at the time. Amusingly, none had actually hit the fan we had cooling the room.

So we decided the best course of action was to give him a shower immediately. DW decided she would be the one to get in the shower to clean him and for a moment I thought, cool, I don't have to do it. Unfortunately, that left me with the task of picking the sleeping child up out of his quagmire and carrying him to the shower for DW to deal with. So I gritted my teeth, took a deep breath and re-entered the house.

Because the day was so warm and we had the fan on, one side of Little Man had dried and become like a kind of crispy shell. However, the side he had been lying on and sweating, was now extremely slippery. And he was somewhat surprised to be woken up and flailed about, making things extra difficult. My plan to hold him at arms length didn't work and he had already put his poo covered feet all over my shirt anyway. So I gritted my teeth even more, kept holding my breath, popped him on my hip and carried him to the shower. He was dazed and confused and one of his eyes couldn't open properly.

I delivered him to DW and proceeded to change my own clothes while she scrubbed him in the shower. I had to find a nail brush for him before I confronted the scene of the crime. It took quite some time to clean up, but eventually I found all the debris. At least I thought I had. When the smell still permeated the house several hours later, I had to go hunting again, and found a couple of culprits hiding stealthily beneath the cupboard.

I had all the windows opened, had removed every item of bedding and clothing that had been soiled, cleaned spots on the carpet and had two fans going crazy just to disperse the smell. I even started spraying various deodorisers into the room, along with a can of Brut, but still the smell lingered. For two days. However, we have been lucky and Little man has not repeated his actions. We are not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot, but we remain hopeful that we have experienced the one and only Poo Incident.

Anyway, you asked for it and there it is. The Poo Incident. Let us never speak of it again.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: Everyone wonders if the little light stays on when you close the fridge, but does anyone wonder if its still cold inside? Just me then.