Ahhh Valentine's Day. That wonderful tribute to Hallmark's bottom line. I know everyone has heard the usual rant against "fake" holidays and special events concocted by greedy suits to prey upon the wallets of hapless men and women who are terrified of being thought of as stingy or uncaring. I don't care. I don't care that Hallmark made it up to sell cards. I don't care for the commecialism that surrounds Feb 14. I don't care what other people are doing to make this "special" day wonderful and I don't care about the passionate arguments for defying the capitalist pigs. I don't care how many flowers are sold today or how many chocolates are consumed. I don't care if you drink champagne or a cowboy or a coke. I don't care if you receive a card from "someone special" or a singing telegram. Boy, I sound like the Valentine's Day equivalent of Scrooge, don't I?

But I'm not.

Those things don't matter. I do care about the important things, and something Valentine's Day represents is the most important thing for me to care about. I care about DW. Of course, I care about Princess and Little Man and I try to show them that every day. One of the problems with being a parent, or a busy person for any reason, is that it can be all too easy to take that "special someone" for granted. I don't mean to. I would hate the thought that DW ever felt as though I took her for granted, though I'm sure she does sometimes. Probably because I do sometimes.

So each year, on Feb 14, DW and I do something special. Not very special. Just special enough to take the time to remind ourselves and each other that we do care for, love and need each other. Of course, we should do this every day and guess what, we do. At least we try to. I don't mind that the commercial world jumps up and tells me to show DW how much I love her. Its not like its really hard. As a rule I don't tend to buy flowers or cards but its usually a good excuse for buying chocolates.

Even if we do so everyday, its still worth making one day a little more special. Even if our relationship were perfect, it would probably still have one day that focussed on the "us" part of our relationship. Its so hard to commit yourself fully to another person, to accept their foibles and failings, that when you do make that stand, its worth reminding yourself occasionally just why you do it. Sometimes that is easier than others. Sometimes you really have to look hard to see the person you wanted to be with. But it can also hard to be the person you need be for your partner. Relationships are not easy, we all know that. So why not have a day where both partners make it easy for each other? It can't be Christmas everyday of the year, nor can it be Valentine's Day. Maybe once a year is not enough, but at least its a start.

So tonight, DW and I will "process" the kids quickly, encouraging an early night. Then we will have a bottle of wine with a nice dinner and sit and chat. We won't chat about our day, or the news or the kids or the weather. We will chat about us. We will remember that above all else we have chosen each other for this journey. I don't suppose that everyone could do this. My relationship with DW is not the same as any other out there. Some are better and some are worse. In fact, I have heard that this particular time of year is the peak for breakups. I don't think that's going to happen to me tonight, but believe me, if it does, there will be a blog tomorrow.

I guess that rather than this being a tribute to DW, it is more about the nature of our relationship. We are not perfect but we are perfect for each other. I like to think that we can go the distance but I know everyone thinks that of their own relationship. I know it takes work and humour and love and determination and it doesn't seem unreasonable that I spend at least one day a year at it. It probably won't kill me.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: The world is my oyster, which does explain the smell.