Howdy people! (or should I say person? - thanks DW).

I wasn't going to blog today, but as this is not only a record of my thoughts, but also a record of events, I decided to add this entry.

It all happened yesterday when a colleague I was to meet at 11am for a half hour meeting was 30 minutes late. Now I usually assume that if a person is that late, they are probably not coming to the meeting. An important aside is the fact that I drink around two litres of water a day when I'm at work. Obviously, I hadn't consumed that much water by 11am, but I had started on my second litre by 11:30am. As luck would have it, I hadn't needed a toilet break to that point, despite having had a cup of tea as well. Ok, I should have gone before he arrived, but I didn't need to, and as it got closer to 11am, it seemed better to wait until the meeting was due to end. And by 11:30am, I was still good.

That was when he arrived. Ok, I thought. I could make a break for it now, but that might seem a little rude, especially as we are already half an hour late, but I should be cool until 12pm. Well, midday rolled around and I was starting to feel the pressure, but I'm a professional and it seemed like we were nearing the end of the meeting, so I waited. 12:30 came on and now things were beginning to get interesting. Not the meeting, mind you. I was having difficulty focusing on the meeting and small beads of perspiration were forming on my forehead. My foot was tapping furiously, even more than normal, and I was finding it difficult to sit still in my chair. "He'll have to take a breath soon." was all I could think. So why didn't I simply excuse myself and go? I have no bloody idea. I sat there another 30 minutes until 1pm.

At 1pm, we finished the meeting or more accurately, I finished listening to the meeting. I thought I was free until he said, "Now, while I've got you here..." That was the final straw. I had to stop him before I suffered a physical injury, or a serious emotional one, or possibly both. I bolted, and I hope I excused myself as I left, I can't remember. I guess most people have heard of the joke about a man who kept hitting himself in the head with a hammer and said, "I don't enjoy doing it, but it feels so good when I stop." I felt very similar. Oh, the relief. I stood there and counted to 150. When I got back, the meeting continued for another hour. I think there's a lesson in there for all of us, though some of you may have already learned it. Maybe its just a lesson for me.

Well, it was now after 2pm and I was getting pretty damn hungry, let me tell you. I had bought a heat'n'eat meal from the supermarket, a creamy mushroom tortellini. Our microwave is a little old so I tend to cook food for a bit longer than the instructions indicate. Also, because I tend to let my food sit for longer than normal, I usually cook for a little longer than indicated on the package. All in all, I add about 50% to the times, and always cook on MAX. So when my tortellini was ready, so was I. The only problem was it had not been let sit to cool down at all. But it smelled so good.

I'm not a complete idiot and I knew the packaging would be hot, but it also had a protective film over the food. I had vented a little at the corner as required, but the condensed steam had effectively resealed it. I knew this could mean a burst of steam and I didn't want to drop my lunch. That had happened to me in the past, and I wasn't going to let it happen again. So I used the box the food came in so that I didn't have to touch the steaming hot packaging. Anyway, there's an annoying placed pillar right beside the microwave in our workshop and the box I was now balancing my piping hot lunch on clipped the pillar. Just a little, mind you. But it was enough. Of course, because I wasn't actually holding the food package, and because it was so hot, it had created a layer of water on the waxy surface of the box, it slipped.

I have pretty good reflexes and tried to grab the lunch, but I missed the edge and my hand hit the plastic covering. Because the covering was only held in place by the surface tension of the condensed water vapour, my hand slipped straight under the plastic and into the scorching hot tortellini. I yelled and dropped the whole lot, which landed as you would expect, with the food all over the carpet. But it didn't end there. My hand felt like it was on fire and still had chunks of mushroom and pasta and was smothered in boiling hot creamy sauce. I looked at my steaming hand and yelled again, trying to flick the food off. Needless to say, I was partially successful, in so far as I managed to effectively spread a handful of creamy mushroom tortellini around the workshop, over open computers, over my clothes and on my face. I was lucky I wear glasses. I raced out of the office and dashed once again to the bathroom, this time to run cold water over my hand.

When the redness had subsided, I came back to the office and it smelled fantastic. In some ways that was the cruelest blow, because not only was my deliciously aromatic lunch lying splattered beyond saving on the carpet, I now had to clean it all up. It took me 45 minutes to clean everything, including the bits inside the open computers. I know I may sound weak, but I decided to have KFC for lunch, at 3pm.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: Sticks and stones amy break my bones, but names can have a lasting emotional impact, making it difficult for me to form meaningful, healthy relationships as an adult.