The whole world has changed! Fortunately, not by very much so you needn't be alarmed or concerned or even aware. Its ok. Given this important bit of non-information, I have decided to correct an unrelated blog entry from several weeks ago. The Big Brother ads did NOT, in point of fact, make me want to stab myself in the leg with a fork. It was the Bunnings ads that caused that particular outburst and I would like to apologise to the producers of Big Brother for any suggestion that their ads should illicit the same response. I would also like to note that the Big Brother ads make me want to punch the producers of Big Brother and slap all the contestants and yell, "You're not real! You're a puppet and a git!" Just thought you should know.

I don't believe simply declaring yourself royalty is sufficient to make it so. Hang on a minute. Ok, I'm back and still not royalty, though I may have fooled the vagrant in the alley behind my building. However, it may be possible that by simply telling someone often enough that their blood flows blue, that they actually come to believe it. Take Princess for example. Last night at dinner she interrupted us and announced that she had something to say. She may have even banged the table a little. When all faces were turned to her she said, "I was thinking, let's have a chat about me." As loyal subjects, we consented and asked her what about her did she wish to discuss.

"Well," she said with a flourish, "I was just thinking that I am sooo good that I should have a chocolate frog."

I don't know who taught her how to bat her little eyelids but she has the whole thing down to a fine art. She also maintains a special part of her stomach just for ice-cream and has two imaginary friends called Baxibax and Batasha. How this makes her royal I don't know but she certainly acts like she owns the place. I guess that if we don't do as she demands, she will send her imaginary friends around to open an imaginary can of imaginary whoop ass on our sorry, imaginary selves. Imagine that.

Princess has a very open and natural way with people and for the most part, they don't mind. Recently DW braved the shops with Princess and Little Man in tow and on seeing a rather obese woman walk past, Princess announced to the whole shopping centre that "we should follow that great big bum." The owner of the great big bum did not smile as so many around did, but did say, "Isn't she precious?"

Princess didn't get her people skills from me. I know not to insult people. Actually what I mean is I shouldn't insult people. A colleague recently was having some difficult seeing a stereo 3D object I had printed, which requires you to focus at a distance, like with Magic Eye pictures. I explained to him that it was most likely because his eyes were unusually close together and a little smaller than average. He took the whole things as a joke which I realised later is how I meant it.

Princess is at a very interesting age, which apparantly lasts until whatever age I am. She has mastered enough of the English language to be dangerous and is insightful enough to be able to pinpoint the very things that make anybody stand out. And she has no fear of reprisal. Which is fair enough, because we can't exactly tell her off for telling the truth. Technically, I do fear the reprisal, but not enough to keep my big mouth shut. Anyway, if you are ever feeling like you're just one of the crowd, let Princess tell you what makes you stand out and I guarantee you'll wish you were still just one of the crowd. I thought it was supposed to be good to be the king.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: People on trains in the movies sing along. People on real trains don't.