Hello again. I was a little grumpy yesterday and had a bad case of hayfever and lack of sleep - an ugly combination. Probably shouldn't write at times like those. Anyway, I had a better sleep last night and the rain has settled my hayfever so I started thinking about monkeys.

Monkeys are like hairy, short, old people and they don't mind, which is lucky. I suppose nature makes most creatures generally pretty happy with the way they are. Obviously humans being the notable exception. Anyway, monkeys, and I'm including chimps and apes and bears and koalas here, are very happy. They don't have much to worry about and by and large sleep pretty well, especially koalas. Koalas are probably the least like humans of all monkeys, but they do eat gum leaves and so I guess that's also a plus. Can you imagine how many gum leaves we would have if all the koalas ate something else, like minties? Sure, they'd have fresh breath and be calm in a crisis, but we would have slightly more gum leaves than we already do, and that is a recipe for disaster. Actually, there are lots of ways to make a disaster, and most of them involve monkeys in one way or another.

Monkeys cannot write to save themselves. Seriously, if you point a gun at a monkey and say, "take this down", it will just stare at you stupidly. Left alone and without the whole gun-in-your-face pressure, monkeys will write sonets that only they can read. Clearly, like most humans, monkeys don't write well under pressure. Fortunately monkeys don't suffer from writer's block, but more of a writer's gate, where the gate is locked and acts very much like a block.

I think it would be interesting to see court for humans, run by chimps. I think that it would be funny to have a chimp judge with his chimp judge wig and a chimp judge bailiff and a jury full of chimps in dresses and suits. The District Attorney chimp would bound onto his desk and screech, "yeehahhhghgheaahhhagghgeyyehgah!" and the chimp judge would say, "over ruled". The defense chimp would poke his head out from under his table, pull a booger from his nose and the chimp judge would say, "sustained". Then they would all jump up on the tables, the jury and gallery included, and sing "She Bangs!". If that were on TV, I'd watch it and I bet everybody else would too.

I'll probably be apologizing for this blog tomorrow.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: If increasing something's worth increases its price, why are priceless and worthless opposites?