It was amazing for me to discover recently that at least three people read this blog. DW reads it and that is probably because I can be a bit of a nag and let's face it, what could be better than having me watching over your shoulder waiting desperately for a laugh at one of my witty observations? As I said, I can be a bit of a nag.

Anyway, the other two people have both asked for me to write something about the birthday party held yesterday for my four year old. I don't want to embarass Karen so I will call her..."Sharen" and let's call the other girl..."Hulie". Sharen and her kids, one the same age as my princess, actually attended the party but Hulie said, "Just write a blog - it'll be like I was there." Well, here goes.

It is quite fascinating watching kids unravel the concept of time. Initially it means absolutely nothing to them. They sleep, poop, eat and vomit pretty much randomly and occasionally simultaneously (if they ever have a grossest home video show, we might just win). After a while, it can become a little predictable and eventually you can almost tell the time using their biorhythms. Slowly they realise they can indicate that they want something and then you have to introduce the concept of time. It starts with "Not yet" and then becomes "In a little while" and on to "Bloody hell, I fed you not ten minutes ago and your not getting anything more until the big hand is pointing up and the little hand is pointing at the ten. You should have eaten your Wheatbix."

Eventually, the concept sinks in. My princess can now tell the time as long as the big hand is pointing up and the little hand is pointing at one of the numbers that mean food time. Before this stage though, you have to introduce the concept of tomorrow and yesterday. "In a few days" is a much harder concept to get across and at this time of year as far as Princess is concerned, it is entirely up to Christmas when it will come again. We even have to qualify the word "Later" because apparently "Later today" means it will happen sometime before bed but "Later" means probably never. We may bear some responsibility for that interpretation.

So it came to pass that the Princess' birthday did approach and all who knew were afraid. Except the Princess, who was scary. Kids get excited about parties and presents and friends and who can blame them. The only problem is the explaining when things will happen. "Five more sleeps." "Not until after lunch." "Bloody hell, they'll get here when they get here. You should have eaten your Wheatbix." We had the added bonus of explaining to a four year old that their birthday party would not be held on their actual birthday followed by five hours of tears and tantrums and assurances that this shouldn't be seen as a punishment and it wasn't because she had been naughty and we were not ruining her life. So we had a party on her birthday and a party a few days later with her friends. You gotta pick your battles.

Anyway - the party itself was a success in so far as it is over and the house is still intact and DW's friends are still talking to me, not about me. Not sure about the last bit. I stayed home from work to help out and DW said after the party that I was great and I didn't have to stay home next year. I managed to stuff up "pass the parcel" (or "parcel the parcel" as Princess calls it) and funnily enough it was for the same kid (Sharen's little boy) that I did it to the last time I "helped out" at a party.

BUT, the most important thing is that the Princess had a great day. Her friends enjoyed themselves and they have all grown up so much in the last year. They are all very similar in developmental status and are up to date with current affairs, though they all referred to our Prime Minister as "The Great Gnome". We had activities such as Statues, Pass the Parcel and Scream the Loudest. Several times kids were hunted out of bedrooms and I started dreading the teenage years.

In many ways it was like playing pinball with the game stuck on multiball. But the kids are all pretty well behaved and their parents are also pretty well behaved. I was surprised when one of the mums, let's call her "Kerrin" brought a date and to be honest, she is old enough to be his mother. He actually spent most of his time playing with the other kids and demanded a party bag before leaving. To be fair, I also demanded a party bag and I ate most of the fairy bread after the kids left.

And so it has come to pass that the Princess has turned four and celebrated the event with her family and friends. DW has already booked McDonald's for the fifth birthday. I'm not sure if I'm invited.

Ciao!

Thought for the day: All four year olds are at crotch height and run without fear of collision.