Ok, I admit that yesterday's blog was a little different. I went out on a limb. I have been informed by DW that while it was a brave thing to do, I was too heavy for the limb and it broke and I crashed heavily to the ground. Only she didn't mention the brave bit. And also said something about a lead balloon. She also suggested that my idea of trying a blog in semaphore would be confusing and people wouldn't enjoy been forced to wave their arms about while reading. I've tried it and it can make it difficult to keep your place. Have a go. I can wait.

See? Anyway, I considered morse code and also a "Jive" text converter, which also does the Swedish chef. Just so you know what the outcome would have been like, I have converted this short paragraph into both Jive and Swedish Chef below:

JIVE:
See? Anyway, ah' considered mo'se code and also some "JIBE" text converter, which also duz de Swedish chef. Just so's ya' know whut de outcome would gots been likes, ah' have converted dis sho't paragraph into bod JIBE and Swedish Chef below, dig dis:

SWEDISH CHEF:
See-a? Unyvey, I cunseedered murse-a cude-a und elsu a "Jeefe-a" text cunferter, vheech elsu dues zee Svedeesh cheff. Bork, bork, bork! Joost su yuoo knoo vhet zee ooootcume-a vuoold hefe-a beee leeke-a, I hefe-a cunferted thees shurt peregreph intu but Jeefe-a und Svedeesh Cheff beloo: Eeshkidoo, bork, bork, bork!


I have come to realise that a whole blog like that would be a little difficult to understand and wouldn't relay any useful information. However, it should probably also be noted that very little of what has been written by moi could actually be considered "information" in the strictest sense. Or even in a very broad, generous sense. So I'm back to where I started. I think.

Anyway, DW often gives me advice on my writing in general and said the best blogs I have written were the ones where I said nice things about her. In fact, she tells me I should start up a blog about her and just say nice things. This blog can be for the peasants. Obviously I'm only kidding and I have materially damaged my chances tonight.

However, I do hope that it is clear that DW and I have the kind of relationship where she can make fun of me and I can make fun of her and apologise and grovel and it only makes our relationship stronger. We understand each other, though I need a little explaining. I am in SO much trouble.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Princess and Little Man rule the roost. I like to mix metaphors and see what colours I get. Princess has decided she will marry Little Man, which has led to some disturbing conversations at our house. She likes our house and has decided that the only way she will be able to live there forever is if she marries "close to home". A little too close in my opinion. And in a legal opinion. However, she will brook no opposition and gets very upset at the prospect of anything resembling an alternative. She is close friends with "Sharen's" little boy and in desperation I told her he might be upset if she married someone else. Princess put her hands in the air and said "Well, don't tell him!" DW has advised that we just wait for a little while and she gets the idea that boys are smelly and gross and have germs and inheritance is no longer determined by gender.

Hiroshima was hit by an atmoic bomb called Little Boy and Nagasaki was hit by Fat Man. Our lounge room was hit by a bomb called Little Man. Coincidence? I think not. He's quick, he's chaotic and he laughs all the way. This weekend will be occupied with baby-proofing. I don't mean just baby-proofing, I mean Little Man proofing. We may need a nanny. Or a maid. Or both. DW has said no, despite my pointing out all the advantages. Well, not all the advantages. Anyway, it doesn't look like that is going to happen so we need to protect our assets from discovery by little fingers. Our main problem comes from Princess who likes to leave tiny little things for Little Man to find. She doesn't mean too and she certainly has no desire to cause any harm to Little Man. Given that, you'd think should wouldn't land on him so hard or so often. At this point, she remains the greatest threat to his safety followed by any electrical appliance with a light. Its all so much fun. Which is true, despite my sarcastic tone.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: When in doubt, do as the Romans do. Mix your metaphors like there's no tomorrow.