Welcome back. I didn't expect anybody today. I thought maybe people would think I was beng too hard on penguins yesterday but don't worry. They can take it. Anyway, perhaps today I should try and stay on track. I don't really have a track to stay on so I am going to have to make one.

I have decided that the word "koberish" should be a real word. I personally like to say it like "kobba rish" but it shouldn't be taken to mean "like a cobber" as this is not the definition. I haven't decided what the definition actually is yet but apparently I know what it isn't.

Now, when creating a word, it is a good idea to know whether the word already means something or not, otherwise you may just be redefining a word, which any illiterate teenager can do. So, the first thing to do is check a dictionary. I don't have a paper dictionary handy so I checked an online dictionary "www.yourdictionary.com". It replied in the negative. That is, it couldn't find the word. So far so good.

The next stop was Google. I like Google and if Google said the word was already out there, I was prepared to hate Google and everything associated with it, especially whatever twonk had stolen my word. Interestingly enough, the word "twonk" does have a definition, which, according to the Encyclopedia of Sex, means "the act of striking an object with a flaccid penis, usually in jest." I personally think the "usually in jest" part of that definition is particularly funny because I can't imagine anyone doing it "in anger" or "to resuscitate" or even "to wake someone up".

However, Google was kind. Only one hit for my word and following the link yielded no fruit. By that I mean, "koberish" is not only not a fruit, but the site that Google listed did not actually have the word anywhere. My guess is that it once had the word but it no longer does, and it remains solely in the limbo that is Google cache. Also, the manner in which the word was used, according to the cache, was very much like the word gibberish, which Google suggested I probably meant.

Things were looking up for my word. So the next thing I thought of was Wikipedia. It is kind of an online encyclopedia which contains a large amount of information. I haven't read it all but I am told it is large. So I went to Wikipedia and I asked if it knew about "koberish". It didn't but I wasn't yet satisfied. Partly because I hadn't eaten lunch and partly because I like to be thorough. I actually don't like to be thorough, I just like to have people think that I am. Also, I probably should remove the last line but I am too lazy.

So I moved on to a couple of other search engines. First I tried James. More precisely, I tried "Ask James" who is supposed to be some sort of butler for information on the web. That could be entirely misleading so don't believe it. James didn't have an immediate response so he said he'd get back to me and perhaps I could as Jeeves. It would seem that James and Jeeves are some sort of rivals but I have to go with Jeeves on this one, because he was quite upfront with his lack on knowledge. I also tried Sensis, but that gave me exactly what I would have expected had I been searching for tomato. I am not saying koberish means tomato, just that Sensis is crap. Again, it may not be, because what I said isn't true.

So after waiting twenty or so seconds for James, I decided that I was right and koberish was my word, my very own and nobody already owned it. So I decided to register it. It turns out that there isn't actually a "place" that takes registrations for new words. From all accounts, a word has to enter the "vernacular" which is not a vein in the penis as one might expect. It basically means the words has to be in common usage. So how do you do that?

I once heard that an individual did something like this with the word "quiz". They told a few people one day and had them tell a few others and within a period of time, the word was in common usage. I think it was something about the word was said back to him or something but the whole story may be apocryphal. Anyway, I thought that maybe the Internet could be my starting point. Once this blog is published, the word koberish should start showing up in search engines, after a little while. I'd hope Google would be on board pretty soon. But that is only useful if people actually search for the word.

So I thought that maybe, just maybe, you all could help me. Yes, damn it. I've crossed the line into "reader participation" which I know will have some of you running for cover. But just think about it for a moment. You too could be a part of the making of a new word. All you have to do is actually use it in a couple of emails, without explaining what it means. When the recipient asks what the word means, you give them the definition and ask them to help by sending it on. Sounds like a chain letter, doesn't it? Well, that's true. However, the only luck you are going to get is completely unrelated to this word. No bad luck either, unless you count the loss of a perfectly good word.

"Aha!" I hear you type. But what is the definition? Good question. I have been thinking that perhaps the following would be viable:

Koberish (kob a rish): verb to stumble forward without any idea of what lies ahead or why you are going there, usually relating to blogging: He tends to koberish if his speeches aren't written for him, but then again, what US President didn't?

So, there you have it. Become a part of something. Help make a word. You'll feel better and may even find true love. Let's see if we can influence that bastion of knowledge, that harbour of words, the dictionary. I don't mind which one, though we should probably be aiming for one in English. All we have to do us send a couple of emails and get those people to send a couple as well. Can we do it? Probably not but who the hell cares? Let's make a word. Go to it.

Ciao!

Thought for the Day: Patience is a virtue I don't mind waiting for.