(sung) A blogging we will go. A blogging we will go. He ho the dairy-o, a blogging we will go.

See what happens when I don't have enough sleep. Whacky fun.

Ok. Back on planet Earth. Or so they tell me. You know, you can't trust aliens because they will never admit it. Obviously I'm not referring to the trust worthy aliens. They are ok. But the other kind, don't get me started.

I was going to discuss a very serious topic today but I decided that wasn't going to be as much fun as the gibberish I now have planned. Also, I use the word "planned" like I use the word "koberish". Neither have any meaning to me. I suspect the latter has little meaning to anyone as I made it up to illustrate my point. As I was koberish, today's discussion has no real point so feel free to tune out now. I for one tuned out after "whacky fun".

There are two types of people. Me and everyone else. In the "everyone else" category, there are subcategories, the most obvious being DW and CU. DW is obviously Dearest Wife and CU is "Currently Unassigned". In the CU subcategory, there are three more subsubcategories, namely Princess, Little Man and PWDLIMH(People Who Don't Live In My House). I hope you can see where I am going with this. Using a simple recursive algorithm, it is easy to see that there are actually lots of categories, and yes, "Hulie" has one of her own.

Which brings me of course to penguins. It may seem like a leap of consciousness, but if you follow the above algorithm, you will see where it leads. Anyway, I wouldn't usually put penguins into a "people" category, mostly because they are actually fish masquerading as birds, but they are funny so I will make an exception. I don't think penguins think of themselves as funny and I guess its always amusing to me when someone takes themselves so seriously. Alternatively they may just have a very dry sense of humour, which is funny in itself, you know, because they are fish.

Contrary to popular belief, penguins do not fall over when planes fly overhead. However, they do fall over when cutting their toenails, which is why they try and do that in private. They tend to stand about making fun of waiters and laughing quietly when one of them falls over. They huddle together, not for warmth, but so that noone can be sure who made the yellow snow as they shuffle away. It has also been suggested that penguins don't fart, but they do, only it sounds like ice cracking.

Penguins, like other fish, eat smaller fish and occasionally sharks, but that takes a coordinated effort and most penguins aren't very organized, except when it comes to making films, all of which we would consider "film noir". Again, the dry, black humour belies their secret desire to be real birds. As does their bitter hatred of real birds, as evidenced by the complete lack of real birds in penguin films. Penguin poetry, however, is littered with the metaphoric carcasses of "flying" birds who "think they are above us". They also like to "deal" with "bird-lovers" by "sending the boys round". It is the funniest and deadliest sight to open your door and behold twenty or more of the roughest, toughest fairy penguins all carrying itty, bitty chains and sporting tattoos that say things like "Peck Me" and "I was made for lovin' you, baby". Pray it never happens to you.

The most famous of Penquin poems:

Up In The Sky
by Iris Peckledot

Birds, birds
Up in the sky
Aiming below at my eye
So up themselves
'Cause they can fly
Honey, get my gun

Ciao!

Thought for the day: Sleep is for the weak. And tired.